UPS Features

Argyle Sweater

Argyle Sweater character sheet

Not the Usual Suspects

by Scott Hilburn

Alice Otterloop

Chicken

Although famous worldwide for his tantalizingly tasty thighs and breasts, chicken is actually quite shy about his body. Favorite foods include worms, bread crumbs and (don't tell) quiche. A great speaker, he was once quoted as saying, "Bock, bock, bock, bock, bcaaaw."

Petey Otterloop

The Caveman

Grog, Thag, Zog, etc. Although, for artistic purposes, he goes by many names in the comic strip, he actually prefers to be called Sally. He donates much of his time to various charities such as Meals on Heels and often helps in feeding the caveless. Honored by his caveman heritage, he prides himself on his ignorance, poor manners and primitive behavior - and dislikes the way cavemen are portrayed in Geico commercials disliking the way they are portrayed. He also wants to, one day, start his own language.

Mr. Danders

Bear

Bear loves to sleep in, usually staying in bed long past spring – sometimes getting up as late as July. His wife recently divorced him after finding provocative text messages from Goldilocks on his cell phone.

Peter

Moth

Moth is a semi-celebrated hero and firefighter. A few years ago he suffered 2nd degree burns and other minor injuries after rushing into a blazing building to save several termite larvae. Later, his valiance would be questioned when several fire ants who were at the scene would claim that he didn’t save the larvae out of bravery but that he was drawn to the flames out of mere instinct.

Madeline

Vulture

Vulture enjoys circling carcasses in the air with friends, rotten stenches and puppet shows. She also has a secret – and it’s one that would draw scorn from her peers and family, so you have to promise to keep it secret: She really loves a good salad.

Miss Bliss

Guy with a pompadour

was once banned from a Piggly Wiggly for squeezing the Charmin. Now leads a cult devoted to the worship of Joe Theismann and the eradication of broccoli.