Roger Father, husband and corporate cog. Still trying to master the technologies of the 1970's. Subscribes to the "Let-Mom-handle-it" philosophy of crisis management. Sports nut.

Andy Mother, housewife, writer and grievance mediator. Always wanted to have lots of children; now knows better. Cooks a mean- if not downright cruel - tofu casserole. Sanest of the lot.

Peter High-school junior with a senior-sized ego. Bottomless stomach. Often forgets that football, soccer and baseball are ment to be played outdoors - at least not in the living room. Procrastinator without equal.

Paige High-school freshman, yet queen of the mall. Desperately waiting for Mr. Right to come along. Or Mr. Almost-Right. Or Mr Almost- Almost-Right. Driven nuts by younger brother. Very well-read, if one counts Cosmo.

Jason The younger brother. 10 years old and too smart for his own - or his family's - good. Loves math, science, comic books and tormenting his sister. Endless wellspring of get-filthy-rich-quick schemes.

Quincy Jason's pet iguana. Eats, sleeps, throws up on Paige's pillow. The perfect pet.